It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!!!

This last week has been a pretty miserable one for this little lady:( She woke up from her nap on Monday morning covered in puke - thankfully I think she had just done it and didn't sleep in it! Then we had to take the kiddos to their well-child check-ups.  Both kiddos are doing great, yay!!! But, little miss has been throwing up all week long.  I got her little bug on Thursday night and was pretty sick, so I feel even worse then I already did, for her.  Just praying that the boys don't catch it and that we are all better before Christmas!

Brilee loves the little people nativity set, she will bring you baby Jesus or any of the animals you ask for by name - but she hasn't quite figured out who the wise men are yet:)

 I found a super great idea on pinterest for the month.  You wrap up 24 books, even if they are books you already have, and as many Christmas ones as you can get. I got a bunch from the dollar store and the dollar bins at Target. Each night before bed, the kids(and by kids I mean Brennar!) get to unwrap any book they chose and we read it for their bedtime story.  This is Brennar on the first night, it took him about 3 days to understand that we get 1 a day and only at bedtime.  But, now he just loves it!

 I am in love with this picture of Brilee

 And Brilee is in love with her daddy:)

 Brennar has finally figured out that if he closes his eyes the flash of the camera won't blind him, great for him, bummer for me and my crazy picture-taking obsession

 I played dress up with Brilee, trying to figure out what Christmas dress I wanted her to wear...have I mentioned how fun a little girl is!!!

 Brennar wanted in on the action, but he wouldn't try on his Christmas clothes

 Isn't she a doll?!?!

And the winner is????? Stay tuned to find out!

Wrapping up November

 We spent the end of November in Montana with my family for Thanksgiving, we all had a great time. Brennar went in the hot tub almost every night with my dad, now he is asking for one in his own backyard:)  We also took the kids of Bozeman to the Museum of the Rockies, there wasn't quite as many dinosaurs as I had remembered but I think they both liked it.
Of course, I didn't take my camera out of my suitcase once:(  But here are a few from home

Brilee is obsessed with phones..."hewoo, hewoo, ko-ko" that's what I hear 20 times a day

 Brennar asked to get a picture of him hugging his sister:)

 I finally finished our family stockings (I started them when I was pregnant with Brennar) but, I love the way they turned out!

 My little princess

And of course some stair shots - both the kids climb up and down the stairs over and over all day long -  I just sit at the bottom and watch:)

Picture Extravaganza!!!!

 My little lady's 1 year pictures... I am in love!!!

 And, our family pictures!! As many probably noticed, they are almost exactly like our picture 2 years ago.  I asked if we could do them in the very same place because I loved it so much the first time:)

We had to get them done a week before I really wanted to, I was a little bummed because I wanted all the leaves to be changing and didn't know if they would (which they were) but, God works in wonderful ways, if we would have waited, our sweet little angel baby, Bella Faith, wouldn't have been in my tummy still and I would never have had a picture of all 5 of us!!!!!

 LOVE them all!

Still so much to be thankful for

On Friday October 26th, our family woke up to what we thought was going to be a fun exciting day, that ended up turning into, quite possibly, the worst day of our lives.

What a way to start out a post, huh??? Well, unfortunately, I mean it. We were all rushing to get ready pretty early. Grama Debbi was on her way over to play with Brennar and Brilee, while Clint and I were going to our 12 week ultrasound for baby Stapp #3. Sounds pretty great.

Brennar and Grama Debbi painting - a fun distraction while we were trying to get out the door. 

Miss Brilee locked away in the high chair while Brennar paints.  Don't feel too bad for her, she got oreos at 8:30 in the morning:)

I have no idea how or why I took pictures of the kids while we were in such a mad rush to get out the door in time to get our appointment in Denver, but I did, and now I am really glad I did.

Anyways, on with my story.  I started getting sick almost from the day I found out I was pregnant - but early in the week I started feeling better, not all day long, but for longer parts of the day.  Well, that is completely unlike my other pregnancies, Brennar I was sick until at least 14 weeks and with Brilee it was close to 18.  I had mentioned it to my mom and she thought it was a little strange, too.

We made it to my doctors office and a little early.  We got into our ultrasound almost immediately.  Excuse my french, but the tech was a total bitch to us.  The only things she said to us before she told me to lay on the table was, "you know I can't tell you the sex, right??"  I wanted to say,  "you would know I have 2 other kids, so I do know that, which YOU would know if you had bothered to look at my chart before I walked in". But, we said yes, and I laid down. 

She typed in my due date and put the wand on my belly.  She took 1 picture, and asked my who my doctor was. I told her and she walked right out of the room.

And since this was my third pregnancy, I knew what to look for, and like any other pregnant lady would do, I looked for the heart beat during that one picture and it wasn't there.

I told Clint and immediately started crying hysterically.  About 5 minutes later, which felt like an eternity, in walks my doctor and the tech.  He didn't say anything besides how sorry he was. He didn't have to say anything else.  He talked to us for about 15 minutes about what probably happened, what our choices were, what to expect with whatever we choose, blah, blah, blah... I don't think either of us heard him. 


We went home, hugged our babies and tried to believe what we had just been told.  Long story short, we still don't. It feels like a nightmare we just can't wake up from.

I ended up having to have surgery to deliver the baby, because I was too far along and the baby was too big for me to miscarry on my own.  That was awful in and of itself, too.  I am just so thankful that I have the doctor I do.  I think that if it would have been any other doctor I would be much worse right now than I already am.

I think I really should have listened to my mommy intuition.  That week when I was feeling better, at first, I just thought, oh, this must be another boy when I was thinking girl.  And that morning when we woke up to go to the doctor something just didn't feel quite right.  I guess I just knew something was wrong.  There had actually been a few other things that happened in the weeks before this, conversations I had had, that looking back now, I think were preparing me for this. 

So, now it is just day to day.  My mom got to town the Saturday after we found out, so for that I am so grateful.  And my two beautiful kiddos have helped keep Clint and I so busy that we can't just sit and feel sorry for ourselves and for what happened to us.
The one thing that brings us peace is knowing that our baby is resting safely and peacefully in Jesus' arms, waiting for the day we can all be together, and knowing that she has an auntie and an uncle with her that love her just as much as we do.

I know this is not our typical post, but talking about and thinking about our precious baby helps us, so thank you for listening

And here are those beautiful babies

And for these two, We are so thankful!

Happy Halloween, Matey!!!

Arrggg!!! Happy Halloween!! We decided to be a pirate family this year. Brennar's costume was the cutest one I saw the entire night, I just loved it.  He thought it was pretty cool, too, especially that parrot on his shoulder.  Aptly named Scully - from his favorite pirate show:)

And the pirate princess was pretty darn cute, too.  She wouldn't keep her hat on, so I decided to try a headband instead, that lasted about 2 houses, oh well, I think people knew what she was without them

Are they not the cutest little scallywags you ever saw!!!

One of my very favorite pictures of Brennar to date!!